he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
