I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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