i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
