wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
