shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
