I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
