He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
