Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize