i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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