So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
