Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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