Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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