so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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