her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Did I show you my penis last night?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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