Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
