The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
