I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
