puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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