You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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