I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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