think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
