U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize