the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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