You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
