And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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