I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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