Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize