Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
50% drunk capacity currently
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
