please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
What a dumb baby whore.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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