Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
