D3 body, D1 cock
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize