i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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