I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize