I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
