did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
