I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
