party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i drank out of a bidet.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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