We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
