and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize