Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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