i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
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