she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
