she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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