my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
