i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
