That's when you crack a 10am beer
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
