i jhust puked up my retainher.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
