I hate your face
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
