is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just puked most of my soul out..
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