Your face is a jimmy john
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
