Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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