im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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