dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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