Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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