What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
