im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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