You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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