Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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