I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
