if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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