Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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