god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
