Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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