a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
