Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
