We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
