2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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