school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
