I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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