guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
