absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
