ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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