I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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