careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
