i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
