Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
