Sry I called you an 8
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
