I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
