Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We got so high we made milksteak
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
