I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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